Disco is Dead (and Nightwing Killed It)
by nerdsandnutella
Summary: Dick tries to be fashionable. His family is less than impressed. Fun little oneshot.


**STOP! Before you read this story, google "nightwing disco suit" (or just look at the photo posted). That look is what this one-shot is based on. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. It just looks so…bad. This a fun, comedy sorta fic so don't take it too seriously.**

 **Also, please please please review! Honestly it's what makes me write more, if you do want to see more of my writing. TRK Epilogue coming in a few days, as well as Damian's chapter of "Training Sessions".**

 **Have fun y'all (and please review)!**

 **Update 7/25/17: I fixed a couple spelling errors and some formatting issues. Thanks Julia!**

* * *

"That costume is horrid, Grayson. I demand you remove it right now." Damian stood, arms folded, glaring at his older brother.

Dick was standing in front of him, his arms spread wide as he showed off his new masterpiece. He slowly turned in a circle, letting Damian see the entire thing. A huge grin shone on Dick's face, the likes of which rivaled the Hollywood lights in brightness. "C'mon Dami, it's awesome and you know it. It'll get me all the ladies," Dick winked.

Tim walked downstairs at the very moment the Damian hit Dick on the head with his bo staff. "Have you completely taken leave of your senses?" Damian growled. "I will **not** be seen out in public with you wearing that _thing._ "

Dick rubbed his head, about to firmly reprimand his littlest brother, when he noticed the presence of another person. "Timmy! You've got better fashion sense than Damian, tell me what you think about my new look."

Tim regarded Dick's new costume with a half grimace marring his features.

The new Nightwing suit was a bright baby blue bedazzled disco suit. It had a huge collar that rose up around Dick's shoulders and the whole thing was covered in sequins that glittered with every movement. It was in no way practical, nor was it even remotely attractive. The entire suit was a monstrosity and everyone but it's wearer could see it.

Tim groaned inwardly. Dick wasn't about to let this one go without a fight."No, Dick. Just no."

Dick looked hurt. "But I was thinking of growing out a new mullet to compliment it! It's the latest fashion, I looked it up in those magazines that Alfred keeps in the parlor."

Tim slowly shook his head as Damian scoffed, "How could you be so completely and utterly idiotic? Those tabloids are from _thirty years ago._ Pennyworth keeps them as mementos!" The small boy shook his head as he muttered, " I can't believe I actually thought you possessed some level of intelligence."

Dick, annoyed, spoke up, "Hey! I'm intelligent! And if you two aren't able to see the level of genius it took to produce this piece of art, then I'm going to find someone who does."

"NO!" Both Tim and Damian yelled at the same time.

Damian grabbed the collar of the suit and pulled, saying, "Take it off right now. I'm going to burn it."

Dick looked at the two with surprise, hurt, then a small level of pleasure. "You two never agree on anything! Has anybody looked outside lately? I'm pretty sure pigs are flying."

Damian turned beet red as Tim looked away, mildly embarrassed.

"Tim, I still need you to check into that Clayface lead, he struck last night at Gotham Bank, and I believe-" Bruce walked into the Batcave reading a report written up by Damian the previous night and when he looked up, the older man's face went pale. "Dick, what the _hell_ are you wearing?"

Dick started out a little unsure this time, "It's my new patrol suit...do you like it?" He gave his adoptive father a big puppy face as Tim smacked his forehead and Damian rolled his eyes.

Bruce looked extremely uncomfortable in his current situation. "Um, Dick..." Bruce cleared his throat. Alfred had walked down the Cave stairs a few moments before, and was currently delivering a high level batglare to his employer and longtime friend from behind the back of an oblivious Dick. Bruce sighed."If it makes you happy, then... yes, I like it. But it has to be reinforced with kevlar!"

"Oh no..." Tim groaned. "Why did you encourage him?"

Meanwhile, Dick, who had disregarded Tim's comment and had still yet to notice Alfred, flew into Bruce's arms and wrapped him in a huge hug. Bruce had only one thought: _What have I done?_

Dick stepped away from his foster father and fixed his two brothers with a stony look."I'm so glad there's still _someone_ in this family who appreciates my artistic talent." It was then that he finally noticed Alfred standing in the corner of the Cave. "Hey, Alfred! Whaddya think?"

The ever-calm and patient butler replied gently, "I think it is a wonderful piece of art, Master Dick, but I do not believe will keep you safe during your nightly rounds. Perhaps it would be better to display it, rather than to patrol in it?"

"Oh _hell_ no." Damian said loudly, folding his arms as he did so. "I am not looking at that every single time I come to the cave. Take it off Grayson, and throw it away." He put on his best bat glare. "Or I _will_ burn it." The glares between Dick and Damian quickly became a full-blown standoff. Each brother wore his best version of the batglare and neither blinked, nor backed down.

Alfred stepped in, smoothly diffusing the situation. "I think that the best course of action in this situation would be to break for some cookies. They are waiting upstairs for you, and if you wait much longer, they will no longer be warm." His tone left no room for argument, and luckily no one dared.

Dick shot a hurt glare at Damian as he tromped towards the cave's changing room. "If you so much as breathe near my suit I'll melt the blade of your katana," he shouted over his shoulder.

Bruce exhaled loudly as his youngest son exited as well, sprinting up the stairs with a cruel glint in his eye, no doubt devising a plan to destroy the suit inside his head. "Has Dick always been this dramatic?" he asked the remaining two.

"Yes." Tim and Alfred responded simultaneously.

"But we love him anyway," Alfred finished. "Now go eat your cookies before Master Damian takes them all."

A few minutes later Dick emerged with his new suit in hand and clad in a simple shirt and sweatpants, as well as a small pout.

The only one left in the cave was Tim, leaning against the wall, tapping away furiously on his phone.

"What are you up to?"

"Spreading your creativity."

"…how?"

"By letting the Justice League admire your new suit!" Tim turned his phone to show Dick his handiwork.

Tim had hacked the JL mainframe from his cellphone, broadcasting a picture of Dick in his new costume on every monitor on the Watchtower. "Now the whole League gets to laug- uh, enjoy it!"

Dick stared at his little brother suspiciously. "Wait a minute-"

Not even two seconds later, a red blur sped into the cave, and it was already talking a mile a minute. "Whatwereyouwearingdidyougetcapturedandtheymadeyouwearitwhathappenedareyouok?"

"Whoa, geez Wally, take a breath man. I made it! I made the suit. It's my new patrol outfit, do you like it? There's still a couple of changes I have to make before it's street ready, but what do you think so far?"

For once, Wally had no words.

Tim was speechless as well, but more because he couldn't get a word out laughing as hard as he was. He held on to the wall for dear life as he chortled; the look on Wally's face was well worth being entirely locked out of the JL mainframe for a month.

"Uhh…" Wally's mouth sagged open.

Dick threw a stony glare at his best friend. "Fine, you know what? I'm gonna throw this in the closet and we are never going to speak of it again. Understood?" Dick yanked open a storage closet and chucked his suit in out of frustration. "I'm done trying to be a fashion designer. Police work is more my speed anyway."

"You people are ridiculous," he muttered as he stomped away towards the cave stairs. "You wouldn't know fashion if it was covered in sequins and shoved right in your face."

Tim and Wally shared a look. Then burst out laughing again.

* * *

The suit collected dust in the closet as years went by but was never thrown away (much to the dismay of Damian). Dick still has no idea Alfred kept it (and would be horrified if he were to find out).


End file.
